Greetings from the hump of 2021!
I think I speak for many when I say 2020 was cruel. The pandemic compounded with lockdowns, fear of death, George Floyd, no toilet paper, racial tensions, #45, so many people dying, freefall economy, little positive sight of a future…fill in the blank. All life was completely disrupted for the entire world. For me it was my breaking point and I can only imagine what it was like for everyone else if I was feeling like this. Thankfully as things on the family front were solid, work life also terrific, it was still chaotic and stressful. Well, even though it's now 2021 and quickly moving to '22 I feel like 2020's cousin just moved in. But one new way I discovered to get through the days was through cigars. Years ago a few close friends introduced me to cigars but I could only get through half a cigar about every 2 years. But in 2020, it became a nightly ritual and this new delight taught me new opportunities to begin to cope and learn some new things. So here are a few lessons learned from my discovery:
Start With a Cut. First things first. To start a cigar, you first must cut the top part so you can pull from it. Cigar cutters come in all forms and sizes and prices (the cheap ones will do just fine by the way). Right away, this prompts these life pro-tips learned from cigars first and foremost, that some things in life need to be cut away regularly as a lot of life's priorities will pull from us. As a Christian and gardener, I appreciate this idea so much because this is called pruning (John 15.2). Pruning is often initially painful while for some it comes as a relief until you see the magnificent effects and results. Perhaps this is what 2020 and 21 is teaching us. At other times pruning is simply fun - as in the case of the minimalist or the KonMari movement. After pruning the results take months. In every season, I f there’s something (or someone) that is holding you back from depth, progress, or joy then it's time to get out the cutters and the lighter.
Stay Ignited. Which leads to the next pro-tip. As a rookie I started off with one of those Bic lighters which got the job done but it took a while to light the cigar. In fact, I would justify that the slower the flame the better. But after talking with some friends and an actual cigar expert I was easily convinced to transition to one of those butane torches and thankfully one came to me free from Cigars International (thank you CI). The cool thing about these torches is they're refillable and the extra butane is as cheap as buying replacement lighters or torches. Depending on the cigar, some have to be relit a few times and if I need to take a bathroom or refill break, I'll need to relight my cigar. Come to find out in life some things need a torch - like a flaming torch. This is exceptionally true for me as a Christian, and this idea is way cooler than merely vying for a promotion at work. In life you've got to stay ignited, especially if you want to level up in the realm of personal development and maturity (Proverbs 1:5, 3.5-7; 1 Peter 2.2; 1 Corinthians 13.11). As someone who is a wholesale believer in Christ, anything good or lasting in life can only be empowered by the power of the Holy Spirit and His round-the-clock provisions of that power (John 16.13-14). The story of Acts gives a helpful account about the ODs (original disciples) meeting and wondering about what to do now that the Messiah had been crucified, risen, and ascended back to His Kingdom. Right then the Holy Spirit appeared with incredible anointing power and His presence was validated with little flames above each of the disciples' heads (Acts 2.3-4). The details of this story are incredible. In fact, outsiders thought they were drunk (Acts 2.13, lol). I believe in the same way God, Jesus Christ, and Holy Spirit engaged disciples back then is no different than now, and outsiders will just not understand while others will want it. So, what this means is I'm only effective when I'm in close proximity to the Holy Spirit and He will keep me ignited for every good work. This relationship requires the commitment to sit still, listen, await anointing, and then obey immediately. And not only that but engaging in quality personal education and mentorship with good friends who support me (and who I can also support) is one of the most wonderful ways to stay ignited. And lest I be branded as a mystic, don't take my word for it. Colossians 3:17 says “…whatever you do, in word or deed…” (see also 1 Corinthians 10.31). I’m not only referring to so-called Church work, but every good work. One lit cigar can light another as well (Matthew 5.16; 1 Corinthians 10.24; 2 Corinthians 1.4). Need we say more? So stay ignited.
Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Slow down…So I just learned the slower and smoother I puff the better the cigar smokes, and the less tired my mouth is too (lol). It's the same in life. Slow down…the thing I've loved about living in other countries is how stress-free people are when doing business of all kinds. Speed is not a virtue. Sure, the standard manipulations are present like in America but a lot of cultures outside America don't force time. In fact, in most (if not all) cultures people take time...and lots of tea (and smokes) to build rapport as a priority before engaging in any type of business. Genuine and sober character is valued above all of the thin hubris and happiness that is common in our culture. For me, relearning this pro-tip has made all the difference and resulted in less stress and fatigue and better results (Proverbs 16.33; John 14.27). It's awesome. Indeed we work with all your might and as unto God, but just chill for a bit and let the Lord handle the outcomes…in His time.
Shrug off the ashes. When I first started smoking cigars I didn’t know how to deal with the burning end of the cigar. How soon or how late should you bump the ash into the tray? It gets tricky because if you have a moist or sweet cigar the ashy end may stay for a long while without falling on you, but eventually and unpredictably it will fall on you unless you tap it into an ash tray. But when the ashes crumble onto your clothes, it’s not a good idea to try and wipe them off. Let me also affirm cigar etiquette here: the ashes or cigar but belong in an ash tray and are not to be just flicked around for someone else to deal with. Offenses work the same way in life. This has been particularly challenging for my self- awareness especially the more comfortable we get with others. We too easily reduce our sensitivity to others and flick offenses and leave buts laying around oblivious to maintain sensitivity to our neighbors. I've discovered one effective antidote is to this disease is to regularly express genuine gratitude (1 Thessalonians5.18; Colossians3.15; Job 6.14). In fact, for me flicking the ashes has now become a fun skill and practice. Like in life, offenses fall on us like ashes whether from relatives, our partner, friends, work colleagues, or life. Truth be told these offenses are not like sticks and stones. We can then ruminate on these offenses and major in minors especially if we have baggage - and we do. We can also be oblivious to and lack the self-awareness needed to recognize our own possible shortcomings and rough edges (James 1.9; 1 Timothy 4.12). These perceived offenses are like ashes in the grand narrative, just simply not a big deal, and many (if not all) of life's personal attacks can be dealt with by simply taking a step back (or standing up), getting some understanding, some help, and ultimately shrugging them off (Psalm 1.1-2, 83.3; Proverbs 19.21, 20.18, 21.30). A lot of things are first world or champagne problems and if it's absolutely difficult to get over things, get some professional help; pray, seek Scripture, talk with the Holy Spirit, an older trusted friend and if necessary, seek a therapist (Job 18.7; Proverbs 19.20,21). Take time to process each day and take on lessons that can be learned for the future. It's not healthy emotionally or physically to fester and try to concoct revenge or self-justification so shrug off the ashes.
Stay preserved. You cannot leave a cigar sitting around. This was by far the most insightful lesson I learned because a dried up (and rotten) cigar is simply disgusting. There are no two ways around it, unless I’m really desperate which still isn’t worth it. Like food products, cigars are perishable so they must be kept in a sealed, humidity-controlled environment. It doesn’t cost much for the equipment necessary to keep a cigar preserved, and in fact I cannot afford not to keep my stash preserved. So much can be said about this and I don’t want to overlook the obvious, and given our current climate we will go there. As a Christian I am especially reminded of this daily (Psalm 37.1,35; 73.3,17). As trust for authority continues to erode we remember that God is still on the throne, and still King. I see so much cynicism, unruliness, violence, arrogance, ignorance, injustice, laziness, and real rebellion more than before. While these behaviors are nothing new the feeling is that they are more pervasive than before and it has become difficult to live in this type of environment (2 Timothy 3.13). I love the reminders and encouragement from Scripture and Christ that “…in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16.33). The Messiah, Emmanuel has proved Himself so therefore I love the Messiah, I trust the Messiah and I listen to Him and obey Him. The reality is Jeshua, Jehovah, and the Holy Spirit are in control. They ordain and preserve all events for their glory (Psalm 33.10-11). They give us other believers as blessings to help preserve and edify each other, and the important thing to remember is that staying preserved cannot and should not be done on an island if we can help it (Proverbs 17.17; Psalm 66.9; John 17.11; Colossians 3.16; 1 Thessalonians 5.11). I have a feeling the new status quo is here to stay so it’s a good idea to stay close to the one who preserves. We cannot afford not to do so.
Stay warm. Cigars are for every season, even winter and I'm not sophisticated enough to smoke indoors yet especially in summer and winter. But when winter rolls around it's wise to grab a coat, more specifically a smoking jacket. 2020 presented a vast array of seasons for all of us, and for me it was a time of persevering, lamenting, introspection and pruning (Psalm 51.17; John 16.20). Life comes in all seasons and sometimes it's tempting to give in to callousness and coldness so it's important to recognize that these seasons challenge our areas of immaturity (Ecclesiastes 3.4; see all of James 1). Life comes with all sorts of winter, and we should be ready and not surprised. A good start is the warmth of God’s counsel and the warm company of other Godly people (Proverbs 18.24; Hebrews 10.25).
Stand (or sit) with your back to the wind. This is a little like #4 and #6. Ideal conditions for a good cigar are a spring day with little to no wind, but life comes in all seasons. I personally enjoy smoking outside so I make sure my back is to the wind which is always present to any degree. Just recently I experienced smoking in a sandstorm (and now I can cross that off my life list). This principle still worked flawlessly. It is said that "there are times when you can do the right thing in the wrong wind." I like to think of the relationship between an airplane and the wind in which the former benefits greatly from the latter. Or the weights and machines at a gym. In life this is not to say to ignore or dismiss your trials, critics, opposers, or some legitimate limitations but standing with your face to the wind sometimes yields poor results. From the wind I've learned we will all definitely always have setbacks, critics, and haters, but I don't need to constantly pay attention to them or they will paralyze me and ultimately hold me back – especially my inner critic. Conversely flattery can be as dangerous because it affirms what you may already think of yourself, so "don't be afraid of enemies who can attack you but friends who flatter you" (Carnegie). On the other hand China's Lao Tzu said, "Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner." I think the point is to avoid focusing on critics and the past (or past mistakes) or run the risk of staying stuck in the past. Conversely I've also learned to appreciate critics and trials - opposing winds - because they will provide special insight into ways to improve personal and professional development. Like #4, when we harness criticism and opposition and take time to bounce these personal and perceived criticisms or attacks off the counsel of the Holy Spirit, close and trusted friends and advisers it serves greatly to our advantage. Sometimes, as Proverbs says, these criticisms may serve as correction for the wise so that we become prudent…if we’re wise (Proverbs 1.7; 15.5). Proverbs also puts the opposite perfectly, “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him” (Proverbs 26.4). Yikes, as a leader (and if you’re a leader) this is potent yet sometimes difficult because it's [often] not wise to correct a fool when you want or need to, and I've learned to neither (or just never) argue with a fool either way. This counsel is affirmed in Holy Scripture and nearly all cultures. In life if you have to endure a fool just don't say anything, and you CAN just walk away.
Sip a good drink to complement your cigar. This is my favorite part of each day and it doesn't *always* need to include alcohol. But this ritual is a time to chill for a moment and do the above because it’s so enjoyable and can open up quality time to recharge especially with my wife and friends. I've personally found coffee, Ginger ale, or Whiskey or Scotch on the weekend to be great liquid companions for my cigar (Psalm 104.15; John 2; 1 Tim 5.33).